Tik Tok creator reveals they aren't mining user data, youth backlash, what's the point?

Tik Tok execs made an announcement today to let everyone know that they actually don't mine data and no algorithm is monitoring any of their users individually or with aggregation to be able to accurately suggest what video to show next. Tik Tok execs thought this would be a PR win-win with all the freedom of information, privacy issues, and social transparency other companies like to promote, but it quickly turned into major backlash as the youth began immediately deleting Tik Tok for something that has a working algorithm.

• " I mean, the algorithm is the only thing that makes me unique. If I'm just getting the same feed as everyone else I might as well watch TV"  -Trevor D - 8th Grade
  

Younger users quickly googled to see what "TV" is and their blank emotionless faces immediately turned to a look of disgust as they read about how TV can only show a pre-programmed set of shows with 30-second commercials every few minutes that you had to watch. Kids were stunned that no matter how many times you change the channel when "The bachelor" comes on, a "TV" doesn't learn that you don't want to see that crap and offer something else you might enjoy. Tv's also just kept re-running the same shows daily, even hourly on some news and sports channels.

"Cable TV? That's what my grandma watches wheel of fortune on! Grandma yells at the TV news a lot too, a simple algorithm would help her not yell at the TV so much" said Billy H - 7th Grade

Meanwhile, parents praised the announcement on antiquated platforms such as FB with homemade memes made in Canva. Ironically they were seemingly more than happy to sign into Canva with their Apple ID or FB account just to make the clever memes roasting the youth that will never see their posts. 

Thinking their posts are seen by every and all users of Facebook instantly, sadly parents just filled their 5 closest friends' feeds with the passionately composed Canva memes due to the algorithm knowing that the majority of their 120-220 closest friends didn't care to see any more of their SJ posts. Most posts only got 3-7 likes as the lengthy text portion of the post demanded repeatedly that people like and share the post. A common passive-aggressive tactic with parents on FB.

Parents quickly turned to warn their kids again that these apps are rotting their brains and are a complete invasion of privacy... all while still logged into FaceBook... on multiple devices... across multiple apps.

Meanwhile 10th Grader Malcolm G. of Tulsa pleaded with his parents to turn on location services on their matching iPhone 4's running IOS 9.



• "What if you get in a car accident, or have an emergency, how will I know where you are?" pleaded Malcolm. His Mom replied, "I don't want the whole world knowing where I am!"
  
  Malcolm gave in to the cringe sighing under his breath "ugh, that's not how it works!"